Wednesday, 26 October 2016

Wedding Thoughts

Gelin (neighbour) and Martin
We have attended 6 weddings in the last 6 months! Each one has been distinct, each one reflecting the individuals getting married.  Each beautiful in their own right.

I am amazed at how very different each wedding turns out to be.  Yet there are certain things that remain the same, regardless of who is getting married.  In each wedding the couple vows to love, honour, respect, cherish one another..."till death do us part".

When one actually reads the traditional wedding vows, I mean carefully reads them, the couple is promising an awful lot!  Not only a lot, but things that are almost impossible to fulfill.  Yet, through the centuries, couples repeat them, and try to honor them.

Jose Angel and Lili (neighbour girl from Chihuahua)
Thinking back on these last 6 weddings, I look at all the details that were so important to the bride  (let's be honest, for the most part, the guy is less concerned about those details that the bride stresses about!).  Now, while all those details make the event glorious and beautiful, they do add little to the actual marriage.  One is no less married if one goes before a Justice of the Peace and signs the papers, then if they do the whole church, reception thing.

But alas the wedding is but a day.  Then comes the work of honouring those vows that one made.  This is another test completely.  I told my sons that they needed to put more effort into the actual marriage than the wedding day.  I have told my married kids that if they ever thought they needed help I would pay for counselling.  Why? Not because I think that they won't make it but because I believe one must work at one's marriage and put in 100%.  I also know that we are human and selfish, that the glow of that lovely wedding day dims, and too many choose to call it quits.
Jessy & Peter (friends)
While I enjoyed all 6 weddings, and was excited to be a part of their day...I know that many don't make it for the long haul.  I have also just recently seen the end of several marriages.  People saying things like "I just couldn't do it anymore" or "I deserve to be happy and I am not in this marriage" or "he/she was unfaithful and I can't put up with that" etc, etc.  I have watched the end of a commitment and how that affects the couple, not to mention how it affects the kids.
Gaby & Mariano (neighbour boy)
I remember my own wedding and all the illusions about our future. On October 29 we are celebrating 28 years! But, I also remember going into marriage counselling to get some help.  We have good days and we have bad days.  Some times I don't like my husband, some days I don't like myself! But one thing we both have agreed on is that we will keep at it, we are committed for the long haul.  We also want to support those who are struggling.
Brittany (niece) and Jason 
Right now Ernie and I are taking a course to get certified to help couples in their marriages.  A side benefit is that we will strengthened our own marriage through the process.
Whitney & Ryan (friend)
Pray for marriages, your own and those around you.  Take time to look at those vows you made and then take another look at how you can fulfill them each and every day!

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